What's My Game Again?
by Kensukete
Summary: Peter is selected to go onto a game show. It is written in script format. It is also only 1/3 complete. Reviews appreciated.


Family Guy

Family Guy

Episode: What's My Game Again?

Announcer: Let's get ready to rumble!

_Peter is sitting on the couch._

Peter: Hey, I didn't know the Transformers were on The Price is Right!

_Intro to the show plays._

Announcer: Family Guy is presented to you by Fox! We love crime shows and sexy Californian women in bikinis!

_Griffin's home: Brian, the dog, is sitting on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune._

Contestant: C'mon, c'mon. Give me a lucky million! Daddy's gotta pay his debt to the Mafia!

_Wheel stops on bankrupt._

Contestant: Oh…NO!

_Contestant is shot on television._

Brian: So that's why this show has high ratings.

_He flips off the television with the remote. Peter bursts in through the front door._

Peter: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Brian: What is it Peter?

Peter takes a handful of envelopes out of his pocket and opens one. The song for Who Wants to be a Millionaire is heard, all the lights aim downward and dim.

Brian: You got tickets to see Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Peter: Better!

Brian: You've got a chance to be on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Peter: Better!

Brian: Uh…Regis died?

Peter: Wait; is that your final answer?

Brian: I guess…hmm…yeah, final answer.

Peter: I'm sorry, but the answer was the second choice.

Brian: Ah, I knew it. Oh well.

Peter: Anyways, I'm on it!

Lois walks in from the kitchen.

Lois: Hey boys! Peter, what's with the dim lights?

Brian: Peter was just accepted as a contestant for Who Wants to be a Millionaire!

Who Wants to be a Millionaire song plays, lights raise and lower, brighten and dim.

Lois: Really Peter? That's terrific! This is a lot better than the time when you were cast for My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé!

Cuts to flashback: Peter is standing in the middle of the living room, staring at the screen.

Peter: I am not Jabba!

Cuts back to present: the entire family is present.

Chris: So Dad, when we do leave to go to New York?

Peter: Well, it says that I can only bring one member of my family. So that rules you out Meg.

Meg: HEY! I AM a member of this family!

Peter: (laughing) Hehhehhehhehhehhehheh. That's what you think. Now, I'm going to have to interview you all one at a time. Lois, you're first. Come with me upstairs.

Peter and Lois run upstairs to their bedroom and slam the door shut. Barry White is heard singing. Stewie, the baby, runs to the front door and swings it open.

Stewie: Will you shut up! Its not even nighttime yet and you're all ready singing about making love after dusk! Go home Barry White!

Barry White music stops playing. Stewie closes the door and walks back to the others, only to stop halfway there hearing Barry White music again. He runs back to the door and swings it open again.

Stewie: All right! You asked for it!

He pulls out a missile launcher with red lettering with the side reading B. White. He fires it. Off in the distance an explosion is heard, Barry White music stops playing again. Stewie closes the door and walks back.

Stewie: There. That's better.

The bedroom door upstairs is heard opening. Lois and Peter walk downstairs. Lois' hair is frazzled-looking. Peter whispers into her ear.

Peter: You're more than qualified, but I still have to interview the rest…you know, to keep my good image. Remember what happened last time?

Flashback: The family is taking a family picture.

Photographer: Okay, now everyone, say whiz.

Family: Pee!

The photo is taken. Once its developed Peter looks at it.

Peter: Why is my photo warped while everyone else's looks normal?

He looks up from the photo and sees Samara, the evil little girl from The Ring.

Peter: Oh my God!

He picks up the camera and throws it at her. The camera snaps a photo of her. Once it develops, it looks like a picture of Winona Ryder stealing from a store.

Cuts back to present: Everyone except Lois and Peter are sitting on the couch watching television. Lois is at the base of the stairs and Peter is halfway down.

Announcer: We now return to Will and Grace…so gay.

Grace and her friend Karen are sitting at the dining table.

Grace: So what are your plans for the night Karen?

Karen: Well, Grace. I planned on sitting around in my room watching tv and eating ice cream and complaining about my husband who you never see because he really isn't real and therefore I've been lying to you all these years but that doesn't matter because you're nothing more than some skinny pretty girl with a big nose and big hands who can't get a real acting job and have to stay in a television show about gays.

There's a long silence between the two. Grace starts crying. Jack bursts in with a man in a leotard.

Jack: Don't you just love jungle fever?

Canned laughter is heard.

Stewie: I never understood progressive shows like this. I mean, why is that guy wearing a leotard? Why did he just walk through the door with a man?

Brian: It's because the man is a homosexual. They do that.

Stewie, Chris and Meg: Ohhhhhhhhh.

Peter: Okay Chris, you're up next.

Peter walks upstairs. Chris gulps, then slowly rises from the couch and slowly walks toward the stairs.

Stewie: Oh yeah, Chris. I almost forgot. If the fat man tries anything funny, don't bother screaming. I've soundproofed the room because I can't get to sleep with him and Lois making all those noises.

Flashback: Stewie is lying in his crib with his eyes wide open. The sounds of Peter and Lois' snoring keep him wide-awake. The scene plays out with Stewie trying to cover his ears. He first tries putting his fingers in his ears, but he can still hear them. He then tries burying his face into his pillow, but that doesn't work either. He finally puts in earplugs he randomly pulls out from his pillow. To no avail, they don't work either. He slams his fists into bottom of his crib.

Stewie: BLAST!

His crib breaks. He falls to the floor.

Cuts back to present: Chris is in the bedroom with Peter. Both are sitting in chairs opposite of each other.

Peter: Now, we'll begin with you telling me your name…

Chris: But Dad, you already know my name…

Peter: I SAID TELL ME YOUR NAME!!

Chris: Chris Griffin, SIR!

Peter: There, that wasn't so hard now was it? Next, tell me why you want to go with me to New York to see me play Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?

Chris: Well, uh…I haven't really thought about it. I guess 'cause you're the coolest dad ever?

Peter has to think for a moment.

Peter: Touché.

Cuts to other family members talking to each other.

Brian: So what do you think your chances are Meg?

Meg: Well, if Dad reinstates me as his daug…

Lois: Who cares! It's gonna be me! I know it! You losers are gonna have to stay here in Dullsville! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Lois runs out of the room in sheer excitement.

Brian: O…k. What about you Stewie? Do you think you're qualified?

Stewie: No, but I do hope the fat man takes that vile woman. I could finally set my traps I have waiting for her…and throw a sexy party!

Stewie tears off his clothes and reveals a white suit with a white sailors cap on his head. Women in bikinis appear from nowhere. Crazy 50s music starts playing; Stewie and the women start running around the room.

Screen cuts to black for commercial.

Screen comes back to a shot of Griffin's home.

Peter: Everyone, I've decided who I'm going to take with me to New York!

Everyone breathes in and holds until Peter tells his choice, except Chris, who has something to say.

Chris: I'm surprised he even interviewed the evil monkey who lives in my closet.

Flashback: Peter is sitting in his chair while the evil monkey is sitting across from him professional-like.

Peter: So what are your qualifications?

Evil Monkey: I used to be a very successful businessman until I came home early one day and find my wife cheating on me…I…hate…that…time…

Evil monkey starts becoming angry.

Evil Monkey: So now…I…scare your son…like this!

He bares his teeth, glares at Peter, then points.

Cuts back to present

Peter: My choice is…Brian!

Brian jumps with joy.

Brian: Yes! In your faces f#!#!#g you f#!#!#g losers! Take that! Yeah! Didn't expect that did you! Yeah! Oh yeah! Booyah!


End file.
